As a white, cisgender, hetero male, raised working and middle class in the US, I am healing my exceptionalism— including perfectionism, isolation, separateness, and internalized supremacy—and working to reseed the ground of my being with reciprocity, belonging, gratitude, humility, learning, and courageous action.
I’m learning about the depths to which racism, sexism, patriarchy, capitalism—and the dehumanizing impacts of these—are rooted in me. In my body, my thoughts, my beliefs.
I am learning to distinguish performative ally/accomplice moves from authentic expressions of my fuller humanity, which seem to arise naturally when I attend to my own growth and tap into my genuine outrage (rather than focus on my image or on “saving” others).
I’m learning to replace shame as the fuel of my striving to “be good” with a trust in my innate goodness—and in that goodness to move me to right action and to using my privilege to interrupt oppression and dehumanization.
These are questions I am living with:
- Living in this time of profound unveiling and reckoning—and retrenching and denial, how do I live a good life, contribute, do my part, and act lovingly, courageously and responsibly?
- What does it look like to divest myself of patriarchy, toxic masculinity, supremacy, and separateness? To redefine power, leadership?
- What does it look like to “show up”—to neither dominate nor disappear, over-speak nor fade into silence?
- How do I keep opening my eyes to systemic oppression—including my own internalized supremacy and oppression—while keeping my heart open, my belly soft?
- What does it look like—and what is required—for me to trust my gut while remaining curious about the imprint of my socialization?
I am learning to allow myself to be a work-in-progress, a learner. To take solace in my commitment to lovingly steer myself from the path of exceptionalism onto a road less traveled and less comfortable. And, to those of my clients drawn to it, I offer support exploring race, power, privilege and white supremacy culture and the reclamation of our full humanity.